Tales from the Classroom Part 1

As I mentioned in my first post, I am a teacher and I have a few stories from my experiences of teaching. People often ask to hear good stories from my classroom. While I love my students and love my job, there are definitely times that it is less than desirable. This is one of those stories.

My third year of teaching was a mixed bag of good and bad. I felt like I was finally hitting my stride as a teacher, but I had a few students that seemed to bask in the pain they caused me. One student in particular, let's call him Scott, was a particular treat. This was a kid who did all that he could to make teachers lives absolute hell. For some reason, he liked me. Maybe it was that he saw that I truly cared about his education and was invested in making him a better man...or it was because I was a white male and he was a misogynistic, white supremacist. Either way...the kid liked me.

One day, little Scotty was not having a great day. He came into my class and was wearing a white wife beater (which is ironic, seeing as though that he later was arrested for physically attacking a girl, but that's neither here nor there). This was against the school dress code and so I felt it necessary to address this to the young man. I went up to him in private and asked him if he could please go change his shirt. He stood up, without speaking, and walked out of the room.

After he left, I assumed he would be right back with a full t-shirt. After about fifteen minutes, he was still gone. If you have never worked in a classroom, this is a red flag for a student who has about a baker's dozen suspensions on his rap sheet. When he returns, he still has his wife beater and is now a little sweaty and out of breath. More red flags, so I proceed with caution. I quietly go over to him and try to privately talk to him as to not embarrass him...he did not mind talking about the issue. Here is the dialogue as I remember it.

Me: "Hey, Scott. Could you not find another t-shirt?"
Scott: "I'M NOT CHANGING MY SHIRT"
Me: "Umm, I need you to change you shirt."
Scott: "NO! IF GIRLS ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE THEIR BOOBS AND MOLASSES* OUT, I CAN WEAR MY WIFE BEATER."
Me: "Yeah, I'm going to need you to change."
Scott: "NO!"
Me: "Please go change your shirt."
Scott: "NO!"
Me: "Please go change your shirt."
Scott: "NO, YOU CAN SEND ME TO THE OFFICE, BUT I'M NOT CHANGING."
Me: "Okay, bye."

He gets up to go head to the office. I stand by the doorframe to watch him leave because he, being not the most stable human being, has a tendency to fly off the handle. I see another student walking in by him in the hallway.

Student: "Hey Scott! Where are you going?"
Me: "I'M GOING TO THE OFFICE! THAT FLUFFING PICKHEAD** IS MAKING ME CHANGE MY SHIRT!"

After I write him a referral to the office, I look to see his write ups on our system. Remember that fifteen minutes where he was gone? He had been written up five different times within that fifteen minutes. Not certain, but pretty sure that it was a new high score. One of the write ups included telling a teacher that he looked like Peter Griffin...the kid's got jokes.

I saw him later that day and he apologized to me which was nice. He said he was having a rough day and that he took it out on me and was sorry. We shook hands and I thought that was all.

I got an email the next day. It was from the head of the counseling department and was about having a meeting with little Scooter and his mother about the issues he had the day before. I went into the meeting a little late because I was waiting to finish my class. When I walked into the meeting, it was already a war zone. The meeting attendees included several principals, the head of special education for the district, the head of the counseling department, Scotty and his mom.

This kid's mom was already yelling at every individual in that room and I immediately wanted to moonwalk my way out of that office.

Scott's Mom (pointing at people individually): "IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT HE WASN'T IN CLASS, IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT HE ACTED THIS WAY, AND IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT HE IS A PROBLEM FOR YOU."

Neat...love the positive adult conversation.

I sit down at the opposite end of the table from her. This is when all eyes turn to me. The head of the counseling department says that she wants me to give my side of the story. Scott's mom apparently had confused me with the teacher was called Peter Griffin. This is the actual dialogue.

Scott's Mom: "WHY ARE WE GOING TO TALK TO HIM? ALL HE'S GOING TO DO IS COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING CALLED PETER GRIFFIN!"
Me: "Actually I'm Mr. Springman, and Scott didn't call me Peter Griffin, but he did call me a flushing slickhead***."
Scott's Mom: "WELL, ARE YOU PLUMPING CHICKDEAD****? BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE ONE THE WAY YOU'RE SITTING DOWN THERE."

Now I have been called bad names by students, but this was definitely the first time that a parent has been this aggressive. While I was really upset when this happened, I am so happy that I have this in my arsenal of teaching experience. While funny in hindsight, it also shows my friends outside of education about the things some of us teachers have to deal with. Hopefully people see this and get a kick out of it, but also see the crap that we have to work through.

*He didn't actually say mollasses
**He didn't actually say fluffing pickhead
*** I didn't actually say flushing slickhead
****She didn't actually plumping chickdead

Chance the Rapper Showed His Evangelical Side Last Week

*This is a rewrite of a previous piece that I wrote. It was mistakenly deleted and this is my best attempt at rewriting what I lost.*

I am a Christian who loves Hip Hop. Notice that I did not say Christian Hip Hop, but Hip Hop. Since I was in middle school, I loved the lyrics and the floetry of MCs like Jay-Z, Nas, Kanye West, and so many more. As an adult, I have continued this adoration with MCs like Kendrick Lamar and Childish Gambino. But to be a Christian and listen to the lyrical content that is full of ideology that is very different from that of the Christian faith. What I love is the idea of people fully expressing their story and their experiences that others, like me (being from a middle-class family from the Midwest), have never and will never experience.

Chance the Rapper had a coming out party at the Grammys. When I say coming out party, I mean that on a couple of different levels. The first, and most obvious, is as a successful artist. He racked up three Grammys on seven nominations and winning over Hip Hops elite like Drake, and Chance’s mentor Kanye West.

He also came out in a way that you don’t see often in the entertainment industry. In his acceptance speech for his Best New Artist Grammy, he thanked God. You may say, “Well everyone thanks God in their acceptance speech”, but the way he did it was different. He didn’t just thank God, he said that he “declares this victory in the name of the Lord.” Now, again, you may say, “what’s the difference?” The difference lies in the delivery and the wording.

Chance the Rapper speaks Biblically. His album, “Coloring Book”, has more than twenty references to the Bible and Evangelical beliefs. When you look at the lyrics to “How Great”, the opening song of his performance from the Grammys, it is chock full of Biblical references that people do not see. There are over five different references within his verse alone. Look at some of these lyrics.

1.  “Magnify, Magnify, lift it on high.”

This comes from Psalms 69:30, which says, “I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving.” Many of his verses come Psalms which is a book in the Bible that is lyrical in its own right.

2.  “The Book don’t end with Malachi”

This lyric shows Chance’s belief in the New Testament belief that Jesus is the Christ and the Son of God. Malachi is the last book in the Old Testament which is also the end of the Hebrew text (The Torah). The Evangelical world beliefs show that the Old Testament is important because it shows prophets pointing the coming of Jesus, but Jesus does not enter into the story until the New Testament.

 

3.  “Shabach barak, edify”

When looking at this lyric, Chance is using the original Hebrew. Shabach meaning “praise”, barak meaning “blessed” or “blessing”, and edify means to be made Holy. This is a common instruction in how to pray; to praise God, recognize your blessings, and then request to be made Holy. Because Chance uses the original Hebrew here, he exemplifies some deep Biblical scholarship.

4.  “With the faith of pumpkin-seed-sized mustard seed.”

Straight from Matthew 17:20, Chance uses Christ’s teaching to his disciples about faith and how the smallest amount of true faith in God, that people can move mountains. Later in the song, Jay Electronica also refers to the faith of a mustard seed principle. Again, a New Testament reference is something that Chance uses to show his Evangelical beliefs.

5.  “Hear, for I will speak noble things as entrusted me.”

This is an allusion to Proverbs 8:6. The verse says “Hear; for I will speak of excellent things; and the opening of my lips shall be right things.” This is Chance’s proclamation that he will represent his God because he feels he has been blessed by God’s truth. As he has felt called, he feels that he needs to deliver as well.

These are just a few within this song, let alone the whole “Coloring Book” album. Chance the Rapper is calling for people who listen to hear a different, if not, deeper message than what many in the hip hop community have. Does he make mention of the realistic nature of the grime within life, yes, but the majority of his songs have a message of something that transcends the hip hop lifestyle into the evangelical.

KD vs. OKC Had All of the Petty Last Night

Let's be real, break-ups in relationships, especially bad break-ups, can bring out the petty in all of us. Picture it: you're at your friend's wedding, celebrating a great night and enjoying yourself when your ex walks in with their new paramour and they look downright giddy. You're pissed and immediately try to show them up. Sometimes this works and you make out like a damn rock star, but sometimes their new guy is a doctor and saves kids from life-threatening illnesses.

You win some, you lose some, but you know who always wins? All of your friends who get to watch the petty-off between you and your ex. It is one of the greatest spectator sports that I can think of. That brings me to last nights game where Kevin Durant returned to OKC. Let's call it what it was: Kevin Durant was OKC and Russell "I don't even care about him anymore" Westbrook's ex and he showed up to the party last night with his new girlfriend, Golden State. Who won? ALL OF AMERICA...and Golden State...by a lot.

While we could take the pettiness all the way back to July when Durant decided to to leave OKC, I want to focus on just last night. 

1. OKC fans brought the Petty before the game started

One of the shirts from last night's game

OKC fans were so ready to be Russ's best friend by backing up their boy when his ex showed up. "Dude, you are so much better off without him. All he did was hold you back from what you could be. He was a cupcake anyway." This came by way off some of the pettiest shirts, signs and chants before the game even started. The first that I saw was the "KowarD" tshirts that ESPN talked about before the game (see below). When the game started, you saw more tshirts that were subtle with just a large cupcake on them. We will talk about that one later on.

2. OKC fans continued the Petty during the game

The stamina in which OKC fans brought the petty was downright impressive. Literally every time KD touched the ball, OKC fans booed. When Lebron went back to Cleveland for the first time after "The Decision", Cleveland fans didn't even have that stamina...and that's when Cleveland was Clevelanding the most. They were a special kind of pissed at Lebron and they still didn't have the staying power of the OKC fans last night. The highlight of this was probably the cupcake chant in the second quarter. Even though they were losing by 16, they still kept it going.



3. KD vs Russy in a Petty-off

There comes a point were you and the ex have to come in contact and talk loads of crap about each other's new situation. It's a lot like fireworks: It is an explosion in every sense of the word, but it is beautiful to watch. In the 3rd quarter, OKC was still trailing Golden State, but that doesn't stop revenge Russell from being petty. We see him talking all of the trash to KD while they both walk to the bench. Russ starts yelling "I'm coming!" at KD (insert your own climax joke here) while a probably confused Durant firing back with "You're still losing though." KD-1 Russ-0 on that one.

4. Andre Roberson is that friend

When things in the petty off are not going well, we always have that friend who will graciously look like a jackass to defend our honor. We love that friend, but we also hate that friend because normally they just end up making us look more pathetic. Andre Roberson is that friend. Late in the 3rd quarter, he and KD are ready to square up. They do the uncomfortable forehead touch and America held it's breath in hopes of a punch. Because it's not 1990, we don't see any punches unfortunately. As a Pacers fan I hate John Starks, but at least that dude would fight. While this is not the case for last night, the petty side of us all loved watching what became the almost fight. 

5. Golden State wins on and off the floor

Golden State ended up finishing the game last night, winning by 16 points. They won the petty-off after the game, however, in a couple of different ways. First was through Steph Curry and Draymond Green. Remember that cupcake tshirt I was talking about earlier? The shirt that OKC fans used as a not-so-subtle shot at KD? Steph and Draymond wore them in post game interviews pulling off a huge petty reversal on OKC fans. Salt in the wound to OKC fans and the Warriors did it with a huge grin on their face. The ultimate petty move.

Obviously, this was a fun game to watch outside of the pettiness. Two teams that have a ton of talent offensively and will both be contenders to win the Western Conference later this year. What made this game, however, was all of the turmoil that we knew would come with it. This is what sports entertainment is all about. We don't just want the game, we want the drama that comes with it. We love a great storyline and this certainly delivered that. 

Welcome to TheOffseason

When I decided to write a blog, I could feel my 22 year old self rolling his eyes at me. "Seriously, Ross? You were an English Major and now you're writing a blog? Remember when we used to make fun of those guys and how you were going to write the next great American novel?" Yes, 22 year old Ross was that pretentious and haughty, but 28 year old Ross is excited to start writing.

After teaching and coaching for the last six years and doing what I can to empower the next generation to follow their dreams, take life by balls, shoot for the stars, and all the other cliché stuff that teachers do, I decided to practice what I preach and dive back into writing to see what I can do.

So what, then, should I be writing about? I had gone back and forth on things that I could include in this blog, but for the majority of it I wanted to be lighthearted and funny (or attempt to be). 

I thought talking about my experiences inside the classroom and outside with my students. When I am at a party and somebody wants to make small talk about what I do (most likely a guy named Brian) and I tell them that I am a teacher and coach, the first question they will ask is "Do you have any good stories about students?" Yeah, Brian, I do. Grab another chardonnay and let me knock your socks off by talking about my little monsters.*

I thought maybe I should talk about sports. Sports are a big part of my life. I played sports growing up, I played college football on scholarship**, and have coached high school football and track since I started teaching. I know that I could offer some insight about sports. Both the lighter side and things I can guess some coaches might be thinking (or not and I'm just another guy who has a crappy opinion...you be the judge.)

And finally, I thought about maybe just writing about TV and movies. When I am out of school, whether it be the summer or just a break in the school year, I'd like to act like I am drinking in a good book or working hard to develop my class curriculum for the next school year, but I'm not. I'm usually watching TV seasons at a time. Did you ever watch "Last Chance U" on Netflix? I did...the whole season on a Sunday. I'm pathetic.

When thinking about all of these things, I decided that I was going to write about all of it. Which is the origin of it being called 'TheOffseason." It is me, writing about the things that I know in an off-beat way. I'm not trying to take myself too seriously and I ask, if you read this, to do the same.

So this starts my endeavor and we will see how it goes. Let me know what you think. I will post these on my social media pages and ask you to let me know what I can fix and give me things you want me to write about. My effort is simple: to entertain those who stop to read this. So if you are, thanks and welcome to TheOffseason.

*I actually love my students...most of the time.
**I played my freshman year at a NAIA school that, when I was there, a three-win season was a success. This is not a point of bragging...just to be clear.