Dirk Nowitzki is a Hero

As a product of the Indiana, I’ve always loved basketball. Growing up in the 90’s and seeing guys like Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, and Magic Johnson play basketball was an unbelievable experience. Being a kid that stood at a towering 5’8 in high school, basketball was never going to be my thing, but I respected the game. One thing was clear, however, about the NBA in the 90’s and today; there is not a plethora of white guys that are proficient in the game.

Larry Bird is the G.O.A.T.* as far as white guys who play basketball. His range on the court as well as the stories of his legendary trash talk** made all of us lowly Indiana kids hope for better days. One thing that Larry did not reach in his playing career was the 30,000 point club. He will always be a legend, but this one accomplishment that did not fall for the Hick from French Lick.

Only five players had reached this title: Kareem Abdul-Jabar, Karl Malone, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Wilt Chamberlain. Tuesday night, Dirk Nowitzki added his name to this list. Nowitzki and his gigantic frame finished with 25 points, but his 20^th point was the big one. This is not only a special moment for white guys, but for international white guys. He was the first player born outside of the U.S. to reach this achievement which is big for the game as well. All that aside, let’s talk about the hope he gave to all of us white guys who have been dunked on, so many times before.

The picture above is not a young Pat McAfee. It is, in fact, Dirk Nowitzki. This picture alone is enough for me to still have hope in scoring 30,000 in the league. You’re telling me that this guy is on the same list as Kareem and Michael? Let’s break this picture down to really understand how white Nowitzki is.

1.    The Butt-Cut

Kid you not, this is my exact haircut from 2^nd to 3^rd grade. That part down the middle was so slick that girls couldn’t help but swoon. Clearly, he is going for the Nick Carter look here and nailing it.

2.    Frosted Tips

Now, I know most of you are saying, “but he’s a natural blonde. Look at his hair now.” This is true; however, no one can deny that there is a definite change in tint from the top of his hair and the root. Clearly, trying, again, to pull off the 90’s boy band look hard here.

3.    Huge Hoop Earring (singular)

This man has one hoop earring. One. That one hoop earring looks like it goes all the way to his damned shoulder. This is the pinnacle of a white guy trying to look cool.

While this guy looks like Sasquatch trying to make it on the Mickey Mouse club, he has killed it in the NBA. Not only is he a part of the 30,000 point club, he also has a ring from beating the Heat in their first year as a super team with LeBron, Wade, and Bosh. Not only does he have a ring, but he has a smokeshow of a wife. She is way out of his league, but he still figured out a way to convince her to be with him. Are you kidding me?

Nowitzki is a legend. This is not a question, but being a big, ugly, white guy who is successful in the NBA is quite the accomplishment. My hat’s off to the big fella.

*Greatest of all time
**One time, the Bulls put Ben Poquette on Bird. Bird looked at Bulls coach Doug Collins and said, "Ben Poquette? Are you f—ing kidding me?" The guy was ruthless.